Having vices makes life better

Having vices makes life better

Who wants to enjoy life?

I do! That’s why I have vices, and a lot of them. You should too.

There are few problems that I believe fail to be temporarily made better by indulging in a vice.

Broken heart? Vice!

Bad hair day? Vice!

Lost your phone? Vice!

Admit it, we all have them, and if you don’t well let me inspire you with my own collection of not-so-guilty pleasures.

First up, “everything-but-the-kitchen-sink” meals.

I’m like a vacuum for leftovers. In fact sometimes I almost prefer to eat something the second time around than the first time. Cleaning out the fridge and challenging myself to concoct an edible meal from whatever odds and ends I may find fills me with robust satisfactions that I can not explain. This might come from my loathing for food waste, my dislike of leaving things half-finished, or maybe I’m just secretly a dog sitting at the end of the table patiently waiting for someone to sneak me whatever morsels of food they cannot stomach themselves.

Whatever the case may be, if there’s some leftover rice, mixed greens on their last legs or the bottom dredges of a peanut butter jar (I live for the bottom dredges, they are the best part), you can bet your bottom dollar I will make them disappear.

Now my second vice is probably one shared by a lot of people, because it’s the Kardashians. More specifically, Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

I used to watch a lot of reality TV when I was in my early teens, but eventually became interested in other genres and now KUWTK is the only reality show I watch. If you can even call it a “reality” show.

Quick note to this:

Last weekend when I was at my dad’s house and binging KUWTK episodes that were recorded on the PVR (I set it to automatically record the new episodes about two or three years ago then forgot about it. Now when I go to visit there’s always a handful of episodes that I can devour in a couple days) I realized that the title of the show is actually totally inaccurate. The things that are happening in the show happened months prior to when the episodes air, and the entire world has already heard about whatever drama is going on via the internet.

So moral of the story: if you are just using the KUWTK show to keep up with the Kardashians, then you are actually behind.

Moving right along now to my third vice, food porn.

The discovery page on Instagram is a dangerous, dangerous place for me. A couple taps and I will fall down a rabbit hole of food pornography, that is usually heavy on perfect avocados and un-attainable smoothie bowls. Understandably my food porn preference is breakfast foods, as that is my favourite meal of course. It’s at the point where I have to avoid the discovery page all together sometimes, but when I am feeling particularly down I do allow myself the sweet luxury of endless scrolling.

This last one isn’t something that I ever really feel shameful about, but it’s something that definitely brings me a lot of pleasure, and it is making collages.

The physical act of going through magazines, cutting out pictures and then gluing them down is something I’ve always loved, and I wish being a professional collage-maker was real job because I don’t think I could ever get tired of it. My hands would probably get sore though.

So you see, vices are the building block of happiness, and really as long as your vice isn’t hurting anyone else then I don’t see why it should make you feel shameful or guilty.

All vices are nice vices.

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