THESE are all the Oreo flavours that should exist

THESE are all the Oreo flavours that should exist

I’ve had Oreos on the brain lately.

My favourite kind that I’ve had so far is the Dark Chocolate, followed by the Double Stuf. I just had Most Stuf for the first time this week, which I thought I would like a lot, but was disappointed when the creme filling just wasn’t as smooth as the regular Oreos. I mean they’re still good and I will definitely be eating them, they just require a lot of milk-dipping to make them less grainy.

Anyway, I got thinking about all the different Oreo flavours out there. I looked them up and, I kid you not, there are hundreds. Including Key Lime Pie, Root Beer Float, Pina Colada and even Wasabi. However, I thought that there were some obvious gaps in the flavour variety and decided to come up with my own list of Oreo flavours that don’t exist but definitely should.

Ahem, @oreo please have your marketing team contact me. We need to talk.

Honey- Golden Oreo cookies with honey in the creme filling: I was really surprised that honey Oreos wasn’t already a thing. They wold probably go well with tea or some other kind of fancy hot beverage.

Lucky Charms- Golden Oreo cookies with Lucky Charms marshmallows in the creme filling: Oreo has done other collaborations with cereal brands before, and I think Lucky Charms is well overdue for one. I suppose you could DIY this collaboration on your own, by just crumbling up some Oreos in a bowl of Lucky Charms.

Bacon- Chocolate Oreo cookies with bacon flavoured creme filling: Turns out bacon Oreos aren’t a thing. I would have thought that a few years back when everyone was obsessed with bacon and having bacon patterned socks, that Oreo would have jumped on it, but I guess not. Missed opportunity.

Avocado- Chocolate Oreo cookies with avocado mixed into the creme filling: The filling would be green and I don’t think you would be able to really taste the avocado that much, but it would be a great marketing gimmick since avocados are the new bacon

Almond butter- Chocolate Oreo cookies with almond butter filling: They make peanut butter ones, so why not almond butter ones too?

Heart shaped- The Love Oreo but in the shape of a heart: This year Oreo came out with Love Oreos which are the classic Oreo but with a “sweet and tangy” pink creme filling. They could really up the desirability of those by just making the exterior chocolate cookie into a heart shape. I mean, they’ve made football shaped ones so this should be just as easy.

Lavender- Golden Oreo cookies with lavender flavoured creme filling: The filling of these cookies would be purple, and I know they already made Peeps Oreos that come in purple and pink, but I think these would be a hit since Lavender in food is a thing right now.

Nutella- Chocolate Oreo cookies with Nutella filling: This would be a great brand to partner with since I think dipping Oreos in Nutella is already something people do. They could take it a step further and pre-dip the cookies in Nutella as well. Talk about a time save.

Kahlúa- Chocolate Oreo cookies with Kahlúa in the creme filling: Who wants to get drunk off Oreos? I do! Although it would probably take quite a few Oreos to get an averaged sized person drunk, either way it would be fun and help Oreo appeal to a more mature audience. Bailey’s would also make a good filling too I think.

Charcoal- Chocolate Oreo cookies with charcoal in the creme filling: I personally don’t think this would taste good, but you and I both know that people would buy it.

Rainbow- Chocolate Oreo cookies with rainbow creme filling: This would make the twist-and-lick part more fun. Even better if the filling turns the milk that you dunk it in rainbow.

Maple Syrup- Golden Oreo cookies with maple syrup in the creme filling: I know they have waffles and syrup Oreos, but they do not specify that the syrup is “maple” so I think this counts as a unique idea. Plus, they would be a big hit with the Canadian market for obvious reasons and I genuinely think they would taste very good.

Pecan pie- Golden Oreo cookies with pecan pie filling: You know those Two Bite Pecan Tarts that you can get at the grocery store? Well that’s what I envision these Oreos tasting like. Those Pecan Tarts were probably one of my favourite treats growing up, so Pecan pie Oreos would be a major nostalgia moment for me.

Vega Protein- Guaranteed Vegan chocolate Oreo cookies with Vega chocolate protein filling: Mostly another gimmick, but you know people would buy them. I can just see the gym rats lining up now.

Gold- Golden Oreo cookies with gold flecks in the creme filling: You may be starting to notice that a lot of these flavour ideas are based off of current food trends. I’m not sure how gold affects flavour, but Oreo could charge an insane amount for these and they would still fly off shelves. People like to be booje.

I’m off to go put Oreos in my cereal now. Have a lovely sugar-filled weekend friends.

Un-slump yourself

Un-slump yourself

Fake semen, and other things I put on my face

Fake semen, and other things I put on my face