Fake semen, and other things I put on my face

Fake semen, and other things I put on my face

I have had a lot of ups and downs with my skin.

For starters, I’ve had acne since I was 7 years old. I’m not sure why, I do have theories, but regardless I have tried it all when it comes to looking for a solution. Apart from that, my skin is also very fair, sensitive and prone to redness, so I really lost when it came to the skin lottery.

In general, my skin has caused me a lot of discomfort physically, but also emotionally, more so I would say than the typical teenage acne woes. Everything from not wanting my picture to be taken to little kids asking me “what’s wrong with your face?” (part of the reason I’m not that fond of children), and completely avoiding making eye contact or interacting with people. 

When I was 17 I went on accutane, and that helped immensely. I’ve been off it for close to a year now, but I’ve been able to maintain a relatively clear complexion since. I think it’s been due to a combination of products, reduced stress and also better nutrition. It’s not a perfect fix by any means, but my skin is definitely better and it doesn’t make me worry the same way it once did.

So, in no particular order, these are all the products I am currently using on my skin.

  • La Roche-Posay Tolerian Ultra Fluid: My dermatologist introduced me to this a year and a half ago and it’s been amazing. It replenishes moisture to my dry spots, but doesn’t feel greasy or inflame my skin, so it’s a winner. Plain and simple.

  • The Ordinary Caffeine Solution 5% + EGCG: I started using this almost exactly a year ago for under-eye circles and I definitely notice a difference. I was worried about the oil sitting on the skin and causing breakouts, but it doesn’t. I use it morning and night, overtop of my moisturizer and it absorbs within minutes. Plus, putting it on always feels so luxurious like I’m some fancy, old-Hollywood movie star.

  • Ombrelle Ultra-light SPF 60: PSA time; The sun is out YEAR-ROUND people. Even though you can’t see it, it’s up there shooting out beams of light that are powerful enough to penetrate the clouds, hit your face and cause serious (re: cancer) damage. I know that was graphic but it had to be said. Anyway, that’s why I wear sunscreen no matter the weather, and I’ve gotten made of fun of for this but I don’t care because when I’m 70 years old my face isn’t going to look like an old leather purse. Okay, now on to the actual  product; This sunscreen gets an 8/10 in my books. It’s quite good but could be better. It blends relatively well with my moisturizer, and doesn’t feel to heavy, but sometimes it makes things a little dry and flaky. So I am on the hunt for a better one, and if you have any recommendations my inbox is open and waiting.

  • GlamGlow Supermud Clearing Treatment: This was a Christmas present and, because it’s so expensive, I’ve been carefully rationing my use with it. When I do eventually run out I’ll probably have to cave and buy more though since this stuff actually works really well. My skin always looks nicer afterward. Pores are cleared out and it just feels overall smoother. I usually just use it on my nose and T-zone, but if I’m feel extravagant I’ll put it on my chin and cheeks as well. 

  • Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser: I know, BORING, but I had to include it. Not only does this cleanser get the job done, it’s also affordable and if you get the 500 ml bottle it lasts for months. Now I’m going to tell you something that is gross but also funny; Cetaphil looks a lot like semen. That’s it. I’m just going to leave our conversation there.

  • Retin-A: This is a cream that you need a prescription for, but if you struggle with acne I highly recommend you go talk to your doctor about it. I started using it after I went off accutane last May, and I apply to my entire face every other night. It works well, and I get very few acne flare-ups now. The only downside to it is that it makes your skin even more sensitive to sunlight (hence the sunscreen emphasis) and also super citrusy fruits like limes and lemons. So be careful with the lemonade, okay?

One more thing (like I haven’t talked enough already), please drink lots of water! it really helps the skin, and I know I probably sound like your mom right now but it needed to be said. Oh, and the sunscreen, don’t forget about the sunscreen.

THESE are all the Oreo flavours that should exist

THESE are all the Oreo flavours that should exist

Secrets from the saved folder

Secrets from the saved folder