Maybe we're all just waiting around for someone to talk to us
The other day I had a realization, and it was actually the second time I’ve had this same realization in less than a month.
On the first occasion, I had invited a friend to go get dinner with me and she agreed. We met up and ate, then proceeded to walk around outside and continue talking. Somewhere near the end of the night she told that she was really glad I had asked her to hang out, confessing that she often felt awkward asking people to do things with her. I was quite shocked to hear this, since I felt the exact same way and had had to gather a lot of courage to ask her to go for dinner with me.
The second occasion happened during the same type of scenario. I asked a friend to go get food with me, she agreed, and after eating we continued to walk and talk for over an hour. During this time she also admitted that she felt uncomfortable reaching out to people to do things with her. Again I was surprised and felt the same kind of compassion and relatability I had felt with my other friend.
Now, having had these experiences, my realization was that everyone (with the exception of a few) is just waiting around for someone else to talk to them, to engage with them, to invite them to do things. At the end of the day we are all humans, we all want to feel accepted and have connections with people.
So what I took away from both situations was:
I’m not the only person who feels like they’re bothering someone when they invite them to do something
It really is worth it to reach out and talk to people
In the past, I was the person who waited around for someone to ask me to do something first, and was often disappointed when that never happened. Going forward though, I plan to continue pushing my comfort zone when it comes to making plans with people, because I’ve realized that the other person is probably equally as nervous about it as I am. Even if my attempts at making plans doesn’t amount to anything, at least I’ll have tried, and won’t be left wondering why.