An open letter to myself
I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry many times while writing this. Reflecting on my past and present situation was hard, but I’m glad I did it. Originally, I had intended for this to be a sort of “love letter” to myself, but I think it morphed into more of a life lesson/ tough love kind of thing, and I am very pleased with how it turned out.
You probably don’t believe me, but your life is amazing.
I mean seriously, look how far you’ve come.
Everything you wanted a few years ago has magically come into your life, all at the same time. You’re following your passion, you’re healthier and you’re in a wonderful relationship. Remember when those things seemed so far out of reach? You even smile and have fun now, more than you ever thought was possible.
Sure, sometimes life still doesn’t feel that great though.
Sometimes you just want to abandon everything and everyone. Running away to live the rest of your life in a small cabin in the woods, where you do nothing but crosswords and eat peanut butter, with a corgi as your companion. I get it, that does sound pretty great.
I know for a long time it felt as if the universe wasn't on your side at all. Like you weren’t in control anymore, and experiencing the consequences of decisions you didn’t make. So you were angry, you stopped trusting and stopped doing the things you loved to do. You wanted nothing more than to disappear. You shrunk down to be a fraction of the person you are today. This felt good though, you felt safe and in control.
Then after not too long, you weren’t in charge anymore. The beliefs on which you had built your control started to control you, and that’s when you hit a wall. You hit it hard, and you’re still recovering from it.
Even though it seems unbearable, you have to keep going. It’s still early in the game, you’ve got a lot of time left. Enough time to get that dream job, go on those dream vacations and live that dream lifestyle you always knew you’d have.
All the wishes you’ve ever made could still come true. Remember, they have no expiration date.
So please, don’t give up just yet, you have so much more to see and do. Look around at all the things you have now that seemed too far away not that long ago. They are proof that whatever feels impossible now, really can happen.
Okay, now go live your life and be kind to yourself.
I love you xx